David Heslop

Weekend Top Ten #62

Sat, 25 May 2013 10:00:26 +0100

Top Ten Questions About the Xbox One

I’m REALLY looking forward to the Xbox One. But as it stands, here are ten things that I REALLY need answering, once and for all (in order of importance to me).

Will I be able to watch Freeview from an integrated TV through the Xbox One?
Will it function as a PVR for TV?
Can I connect an external hard drive, as 500Gb seems quite small considering it’s installing every single game from a BD disc?
How much space will the new Kinect require?
Will there be a full suite of media apps - iPlayer, ITV Player, Sky Player, 4oD - available at launch?
And will these apps still be tied to my Gold account? At the moment my wife has to sign in as me to watch 4oD, but it looks as if that sort of thing will be more difficult on the Xbox One.
In fact, what will the status of Silver and Gold be? Will it be more of a paid-content deal, or are they still focusing on online gaming?
Are child accounts going to change at all? At the moment it’s quite awkward setting one up and, really, they should function more as off-shoots of a parent’s account.
Can we or can’t we lend a game to a mate for a weekend, or a month, or whatever, without them having to pay a fee?
Will the new Kinect sit quietly on top of my LCD TV, out of reach of the Wriggle Monster?

The View From the Hill

Tue, 21 May 2013 14:08:00 +0100

I don’t normally write fan-fiction, as I kind of think, what’s the point in spending so much time and effort creating something if it doesn’t really belong to you, and you can’t sell it or publish it or take real ownership of any of the characters? Of course, that’s a somewhat reductive view of creativity, as art should be for its own sake at the end of the day. And spurred by something I read online, I was tempted to have a crack at writing an in-universe story.

The following is a very short tale set at a specific point within the timeline of the original Marvel Transformers comic. If you’re not quite heavily “into” Transformers, it probably won’t make a lick of sense. But I’d written it, it was kicking about, I thought, hey, why not stick up on t’Tumblr?

Enjoy.

The view from the top of Bellephron Hill is beautiful in the summer, as the sahcrymose trees sway in the breeze, and the suns make shimmering patterns as their rays dance among the cobalt flowers.

She is with me, as we walk together, squinting as we go. Her hair is long and golden, reflecting the light back at me, and her face is veiled beneath her eyes. She speaks but I do not hear.

The ground is harsh and brittle underfoot, and the air tastes rich. I take her cold hand in mine and wish I could live in this moment forever but know that I can’t. There is smoke on the horizon from the smelting works and I am weak from the climb uphill.

There is something troubling me that I cannot explain. I turn to her, to try to express this thought, but instead marvel again at the radiance of her blue eyes, her silver veil, the deep red of her dress. She leans in close to whisper but I do not know what she says. I feel hot and weak, as if my legs were turning to jelly.

It’s funny, the way the mind plays tricks on us; I do not remember the smelting works being visible from atop Bellephron Hill. I remember the shimmering pools of Aracanna, and the elevated road that leads to Nebulana. I remember the ruins of the Hive cities, stark metallic legs that jut from the landscape, and the craters that surround them from the neutrino bombs.

No; no, that’s not right. The Hive were an ancient race; the ruins were of wetstone and nebulose. And neutrino bombs? There is no such weapon on Nebulos. Where did that come from?

I am weak, and I melt to the floor; I feel her holding my hand. She still whispers at me, blue infinities irradiating her silvered face. Her jaw moves and her eyes express some deep and troubled sadness, but still I hear no words. The sun is hot, far too hot, and I feel burnt up from the inside out, but the grass is cool and hard as I lay down on the hill.

It has been so long since I was here. And I did not expect to see her again. Not since I left, turning away from the life of simple artistry she wished for me, and forged ahead, to the Political Academy. I knew I should rule; I knew I could. Nebulos would benefit from my wisdom and strength. But did I know, even then, that such a calling would close forever the door that lead to sights such as these? To hold her hand and gaze at the stars from Crystaline Hill?

No, not Crystaline. Bellephron. Where did that come from?

I find myself craving her approval, despite it all. Despite the bombed bridges and the rivers of slag that run between us. Despite the chaos. She is so much better than me. I am a man playing at being a god when true gods walk among us.

It is hot here on Crystaline Hill, and my hand is warm and wet where hers is hard and cold. My insides feel tight and burning and there is a smell of cordite and sulphur. My head hurts and it is as if my vision is cracked, and as the smoke rises above the Sacred Spires I find myself again wanting to know if she approves. If she is satisfied. If my choices were not all in vain. If I did not sacrifice my world. Two worlds. Three.

Her eyes are piercing blue and her face is silver and her dress is red and as her hand closes on mine I hear her joints whir and hiss. The ground is shifting metal and I am on fire and so is the sky.

I realise I will never see her again. I will never see Bellephron Hill or the Hive ruins or the Science Academy or my daughter. I will die here, on this alien world, in this promethean prison as a god strides among us, and maybe nothing I did has made any kind of difference.

But maybe it did. Maybe I helped. Maybe it was not all for naught.

My burning eyes register the sadness behind his silver faceplate and the light of wisdom behind his eyes. I can feel the ground vibrate from celestial footsteps and the reverberation of untold munitions. And all I want, more than anything, more even than to see my beloved Nebulos again, is his approval.

Did I do enough, in my short time amongst the gods?

Did I do good?

Weekend Top Ten #61

Sat, 18 May 2013 10:00:27 +0100

Top Ten Comic Books DC Could Add to the New 52

According to this article at Bleeding Cool, DC’s New 52 will soon be down to just 45 titles. Well, obviously a Top Ten is more than seven, but if DC wants to keep it at 52 titles (and disregarding any weekly-book rumours), here are ten characters and concepts that they could consider picking from.

Stephanie Brown
Cassandra Cain
Beryl Hutchinson: The New Knight
Red Robin
Superman of Earth-23
Booster Gold
A Ralph Dibney and Sue Dibney comedy-detective book
An early-years Bruce Wayne/Dick Grayson Batman & Robin book
Kamandi
Detective Chimp

Weekend Top Ten #60

Sat, 11 May 2013 10:00:33 +0100

Top Ten Songs I Sing to My Baby Daughter

To get her to sleep.

This Old Man (Knick-Knack Paddy-Whack)
There Was a Crooked Man
Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star
If I Had Words (to Make a Day For You)
The Rainbow Connection
Ten Green Bottles
One Man and His Dog
We Three Kings
Your Song (by Elton John)
The Red Dwarf theme tune

ryallsfiles: Transformers: Regeneration One #91 by Geoff...

Wed, 08 May 2013 10:37:31 +0100

ryallsfiles:

Transformers: Regeneration One #91 by Geoff Senior. Colors by Josh Burcham.

This is just beautiful. Between this cover and his cameo in Doctor Who, I’m officially declaring it “Galvatron Week”.

Weekend Top Ten #59

Sat, 04 May 2013 11:08:29 +0100

Top Ten Kids’ Show Theme Tunes

Specifically, those with lyrics. Also I’ve disqualified The Real Ghostbusters as that was a movie theme tune before it was a cartoon.

The Transformers (1984)
Spider-Man (1967)
Teen Titans (2003)
Supergran (1985)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987)
Duck Tales (1987)
Scooby-Doo, Where are You! (1969)
Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines (1969)
ThunderCats (1985)
The Aquabats! Super Show! (2012)

Concerning Transformers, and other matters

Fri, 03 May 2013 18:03:00 +0100

Here’s a picture of Heat Wave that I sketched quickly and coloured in Photoshop.

Heat Wave is a Transformer, one of the Rescue Bots, which is a line of preschool Transformer toys Hasbro created a couple of years ago. I bought Heat Wave for my nephew’s second birthday this week, and decided to treat him to a little David Heslop original artwork whilst I was at it. As his godfather, I feel it’s important to educate him in the finer things in life, and Transformers obviously is one of them. Also, I like drawing new Transformers.

Anyway, his reaction upon seeing the toy - it was a fire engine, one of his favourite things, but also a robot - really distilled why Transformers is so effortlessly cool. Kids love cars, and kids love robots, and these things are both! At the same time!

Now, my love of Transformers probably started with the cartoon and was supported by the excellent toys, but the fact that I’m still obsessed thirty years later is primarily down to the comics, and almost entirely down to one man: Simon Furman. Furman wrote Transformers for years, and is responsible for the weight of the mythology that still exists to this day. From championing second-string characters to redefining the mythology to creating new concepts to killing off fan favourites left and right, it was his comics that made me love comics, and in a wider sense, made me love fiction. There was something about his rather melodramatic style and hyperbolic turn of dialogue that has always appealed to me, and I think it’s really, really influenced how I write now and the sort of fiction I enjoy. I mean, when I look at my favourite Shakespeare plays, for God’s sake, I notice the same patterns - doomed heroes fighting till their last breath? Tragic figures striving for redemption? The search for humanity within great evil? Melodramatic and bombastic monologues? We’re talking Macbeth, Hamlet, Lear, Scorponok, Grimlock, and Galvatron.

I hope little Aleksi loves Heat Wave the way I loved Optimus Prime and Bumblebee in 1984. I promise if ever I have the opportunity to write Transformers, I’ll try to get Heat Wave into the comic. And I hope the brand, the toys, and above all the comic, endures for another three decades or more.

Weekend Top Ten #58

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 10:00:20 +0100

Top Ten Moments in All-Star Superman as Represented by a Line of Dialogue

It was Superman’s 75th birthday this week, so to celebrate, here are my favourite moments from my favourite Superman story.

“This is how he sees, all the time, every day…”
“This is the one. This is going to change everything.”
“Here the choice is simple. To remain at play within the field of living, fluid consciousness. Or to turn, and face down evil, one last time.”
“Doomed planet. Desperate scientists. Last hope. Kindly couple.”
“I love you, Lois Lane. Until the end of time.”
“You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.”
“They will race and stumble and fall and crawl and curse, and finally… they will join you in the sun, Kal-El.”
“This is how much I trust you, Leo.”
“Brain beats brawn. Every time.”
“I’m Jimmy Olsen! I look great!”

CITV meets The Aquabats! Brilliant shoot at the weekend with...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:19:00 +0100

Some tantalising merch!

Our cameraman, Mike, follows our child actors down a moody path

Some upside-down merch!

The Aquabats in all their glory! They were tremendous, really good with the kids, very helpful, and generous with their time.

Me, tired.

Lee, my co-director, rocking out with a GoPro on his head.

CITV meets The Aquabats! Brilliant shoot at the weekend with some terrific kids and the wonderful, generous, hilarious Aquabats. Thanks to everyone, including the staff at The Cockpit in Leeds! Will hopefully have some more to say about this later.

Weekend Top Ten #57

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 10:00:25 +0100

Top Ten Moments in the Ghostbusters Movies, as Represented by a Line of Dialogue

“I think he can hear you, Ray.”
“It just… popped in there.”
“There is no Dana, only Zuul!”
“Where are you from… originally?”
“And the flowers are still standing!”
“We be fast, they be slow!”
“You can keep the five bucks!”
“I seen shit that’ll turn you white.”
“She’s a harbour chick!”
“You’re not sleeping with it, are you?”

Hurry up and enter Share a Story!

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 14:14:44 +0100

Time is running out for Share a Story 2013!

The competition, which is all kinds of fantastic, closes this week. You need to get your entries in to us (well, technically to the lovely guys n gals at First Light) by 5pm on Friday.

I want more entries than last year so if there’s a child in your life aged 5-12, give them a polite kick up the backside and get them to send their entry off pronto.

Remember, if they win, CITV will turn their story into an animation! They’ll be a legend in their own lunchtime. There’s no reason not to do it.

Weekend Top Ten #56

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 10:00:40 +0100

Top Ten Quotes from Films I Use in Real Life

No lie, I actually say these things, often in an accent.

I instantly regret this course of action. (Anchorman, 2004)
Mother puss bucket! (Ghostbusters, 1984)
Oh, I hadn’t fought of dat! (Spaced)
Uh-oh, Spaghetti-Os! (The Simpsons)
Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged wimmen. (Jaws, 1975)
Blerg. (30 Rock)
Well that smells stink-a-whif. (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, 1999)
Great googly-mooglies! (Ghostbusters, 1984)
But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck? (Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge, 1991)
And that’s the end of that chapter. (The Simpsons)

Weekend Top Ten #55

Sat, 06 Apr 2013 11:01:09 +0100

Top Ten Character Voices That are Fun to Do

Bane (The Dark Knight Rises)
Nute Gunray (Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace)
Lumpy Space Princess (Adventure Time)
Grimlock (Transformers)
Yoda (Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back)
Gollum (The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)
Emperor Palpatine (Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi)
GLaDOS (Portal)
Darth Vader (Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope)
A Dalek (Doctor Who)

Weekend Top Ten #54

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 00:00:57 +0000

Top Ten Star Wars Character Names

They’re just fun to say!

Salacious Crumb
Yarael Poof
Lando Calrissian
Qui-Gon Jinn
Wat Tambor
Biggs Darklighter
Princess Leia Organa
Wedge Antilles
Luke Skywalker
Lumpy

Weekend Top Ten #53

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 10:00:00 +0000

Top Then Things I Miss About The Old 52

DC Comics are doing some really good things at the moment, but as I’ve just passed 52 Top Tens, I’ll allow myself one moment of reflection and raise a glass to elements of their fabulous shared universe that have sadly gone away. Later I might do one of these about the new things that I like.

Stephanie Brown
Lois and Clark being married
Batman and Superman having been around for about 15 years or more
Wally West
Ralph and Sue Dibny
Donna Troy
Jason Todd’s ginger hair
75 years’ worth of continuity
Cassandra Cain
Blue fingerstripes Nightwing

Weekend Top Ten #52

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 10:00:58 +0000

Wow! I’ve been doing weekly Top Tens for a year! Incredible. Almost.

To celebrate, here are my favourite Top Tens that I have done these past 52 weeks. Enjoy!

Look! I did links and everything! I’m a big boy now.

Happy New 52!

The Share a Story School Assembly Tour 2013!

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 14:00:25 +0000

I’ve just completed the first Share a Story Assembly of the year!

Last year, I visited one school and gave an interactive assembly, where I worked with the kids to produce one giant storyboard. It was successful: we had over 200 entries from that one school, and one of the children went on to win the competition.

So this year I wanted to do more. We’re probably not at the stage, logistically where I can offer to do an assembly for any school that wants one; but we’ve reached out to some schools we’ve had past relationships with, and asked if they’d be interested. So far it looks like I’ll be doing at least half a dozen, hopefully a few more.

So what’s on offer? Aside from my effervescent personality, I show the kids our groovy “Tips & Tricks” videos, and explain the basics of the competition and the prize. Then, using techniques from the “Tips & Tricks”, I get to work with the kids, asking for suggestions and ideas, until we have a completed storyboard.

It went well today, and I think the kids really took something good away from it all. Hopefully lots of them will enter, and maybe one of them will win!

Weekend Top Ten #51

Sat, 09 Mar 2013 10:00:18 +0000

Top Ten Gaming Franchises I’d Like Them to Bring Back

I know some of these have sort of appeared recently, but not properly, y’know?

Lemmings
Monkey Island
Perfect Dark
Cannon Fodder
Black and White
Zool
Syndicate
Command and Conquer: Red Alert
Project Gotham Racing
Midtown Madness

Share a Story 2013

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 13:02:00 +0000

Share a Story 2013:

The all-new Share a Story website is now LIVE!

Anyone with kids aged from five to twelve should seriously check it out. It’s a wonderful competition and very, very rewarding.

Many thanks to Wal Werbel and Frank Mansfield for putting this site together, Dave Beeson for the Tips & Tricks, and to Jardine Sage for animating a beautiful promo. And the rest of the CITV posse - this is a team effort, people!

I want this to be the biggest Share a Story yet - come on, kids, get those stories started!

Weekend Top Ten #50

Sat, 02 Mar 2013 10:00:42 +0000

Top Ten Golden Things

I struggled with what to do for my 50th anniversary, but as One Year is only two weeks away, and arguably a better anniversary, I thought I’d just take a leaf out of my 25th Top Ten, and go for the obvious.

C-3PO
The One Ring
Goldbug
An Oscar (or, indeed, a BAFTA!)
The contents of Scrooge McDuck’s money bin
Booster Gold
The Golden Gun
The Statue of Liberty’s torch
The Golden Age of comics
Cybertron, at the end of the original Transformers cartoon series